Waiting

There’s something there.
I can see it
feel it
smell it
inhale it
choke on it—

But not taste it, no.

It makes my heart beat
a little faster than before.
It drowns me, pulls me
deeper than I’d like,
tempts me to cross
the limits we’ve set
without speaking
a single word.

But I won’t.

I won’t because I—
can’t say it.
It’s really that simple.
Until I can say it,
without any doubt,
or possible regret,
I won’t say it at all.

Maybe I’ll never say it to you.
But I’d rather say it once
than a hundred times.
I’d rather fight
struggle
cry
lie awake
even die!
then say it
to the wrong person.

Especially
if that wrong person is you.
Because you, of all people,
are someone I don’t want to break.

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